Saturday, July 28, 2018

IF I COULD DO ANYTHING IN MY LIFE, WHAT WOULD IT BE?

بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمٰنِ الرَّحِيْمِ
In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful

When I went to Langkawi last year for Idris and Maimunah's 1st Family Day

Life has been such a roller-coaster ride for me these past 4 years. All I could say, my life after marriage has taught me a lot and I never expect to go through such journey. Marriage has been a blessing for me. Why do I say so? It's because, I learnt a lot about myself. I am still learning about me and I surprised myself to discover such sides that I never knew I had. It's a lie if I say there were no challenges that I faced. I had and I am having several now but I believe everything is a blessing from Allah. Right?

It is not easy to take in all and to see the challenges in a positive side. Imagine, you are faced with difficulties and can you still smile and say "it's OK, you'll get through this"? To say that during your hardest times will definitely need a lot of courage and the dependency towards Allah at your highest means. I am far beyond that. I slipped and I rise, I slipped again and I try to hold on to bars on my right and left to support myself back up. The circle goes on and on.

I have always felt that I missed a lot in my life. Somehow I have not given my all and was not seeing a lot of things in many perspectives. No exposure or I myself was too blind to see and rather focused on things that were so wasted back then. That could be the possibility, too.

I came across the question above of my post title which got me thinking to give myself a try and to answer it generally.

If I Could Do Anything in My Life, What Would It Be?

# I would love to travel around the world. To have a decent job as my bread and butter and to be able to work remotely and still I'm able to travel the world, learn about the country, the culture, the people, get engaged with people. I believe that would open up my views on so many things. You know, not being too rigid with so many things.

# I would like to write books. Books that share on a lot of things. Travelling and writing about life. Not just simply about life, but to let people read and imagine on the journeys through my eyes. Above all, to center all of it for the sake of Allah. Travelling to learn more about HIS world and to write and share it with everyone. To let people know about the beauty of HIS creation. Subhanallah! Wouldn't it be nice?

# To undo everything and start all over again. (Such an impossible thing to do!) I know, but (you know what I mean right? Hihi)

# I would REALLY want to make my parents, my siblings, my family members and close friends proud of me. I really want them to be proud and say "Aliah, you have done such a good job, thank you for your hard work and I'm proud to know you". I don't think I have achieved anything to make them proud of me. I have been drown for too long to not do anything to make them proud. Nah! How many "prouds" have I written down! But true enough, I really want to make them proud and I want them to be proud of me. I always give my hardest but somehow I need to work harder to achieve that.

# I would really love to share with people what I see. My photos on the nature, my videos that I take especially on people around me, and to compile all of them, to share on the bits and my reflections of each of them to people. I love sharing them. I ponder on things a lot but I always held back on sharing them not knowing whether people will read it or not. In the near future maybe?

# To spend more time with Arwah Muhammad Marwan. To be there for him like I used to and to never let him be alone during his toughest and darkest times. I still couldn't believe I can no longer talk to him, text him and share things with him when I'm facing such difficulties in my life that no one understands better like he did. I miss you everyday Marwan my love. My beloved cousin whom we have been best friends since in our mothers' womb. I pray that you are happy at your happiest place that you always dreamed of. Al-Fatihah.

Who knows I'll be able to do all the above before I leave this world? If so, I'll be the happiest person on earth. Till then, take care of your health, be happy and always be nice to anyone that you see. Smile too please! See you in my next post inshaAllah.
Friday, March 9, 2018

CONFRONTATION WITH DECISIONS

بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمٰنِ الرَّحِيْمِ
In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful

by AliahMazli
"When confronted with a difficult decision, we can be like deer in headlights: dazed and unable to choose a direction"
-Reader's Digest

Decisions, thoughts and challenges.

These three siblings are the fundamental of life that we encounter in our every day life. To withstand the challenges faced, to govern our thoughts in an orderly and wise manner in order to make the most sane decisions of everything.

From the smallest to the biggest things, we have to make decisions. But how do we really know that it's the wise decision that we have decided to do?

Up until today, I still wonder and doubt some of my decisions, thinking am I going to the right decision in life? Just a ponder you know. I believe Allah is The Best of Planners and He has planned the best story line for each and everyone of us. It's just that sometimes we did the silliest things in life which make us regrets-that-you-can-never-forget-and-hoping-not-to-do-it. But that is life tho. We did, we learned and we move forward not repeating the same mistakes over again.

For example, deep down inside, I know I am hardworking and smart. But I did not give my best during my school years which made me regrets a bunch! But from there I realized my passion or my main thing that I can do and like in this life.

I love language, I love music, I am a person with a deep sentimental values over everything that I see, hear, feel, easy to easy--everything that surrounds me.

I get attached too easily. I get emotionally affected easily. Imagine if I were to become a doctor, I don't think I'll be sane in another 3 months. 

But writing, makes me feel me. I'm free to express myself, my opinions, my ideas and somehow I love how writing can touch a person's heart--even to cold ones.

Have I made a mistake over decisions that I chose?

Yes. I do regret up until today and there were those which I'm glad I did the mistake.

Why? Because one of them was the reason why I started to be much closer to my Creator, My Love--Allah.

To be honest, I am still struggling with my thoughts, my challenges and the decisions that I have to make every single day. Above all that, I strongly feeling assured that I have Allah with me all the time to guide me in making the best out of my life. Tipu kalau kata tak nervous. Nervous kot! Cabaran yang Allah nak bagi bukan sebarang calang. Kata nak dekat dengan Allah, kata nak syurga Allah--tak kental la kalau cabaran tu ciput ye tak?

Allah Allah moga dikuatkan hati, diberi ketabahan.

I hope all of you feel the same way too. To always be determined and be stronger each and every day. InshaaAllah, see you in the next post!
Friday, February 23, 2018

7 TIPS ON PRACTICING ENGLISH LANGUAGE. HOW DO I COME ACROSS TO LIKE AND LOVE ENGLISH LANGUAGE?

بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمٰنِ الرَّحِيْمِ
In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful
by AliahMazli
"To love something is to know about it first. 
Slowly, you will soon fall in love with it".

How was your Friday? 

Mine has been a hectic ones but trying to keep up with the pace of the long to-do-lists. I was preparing the lists of the topic on what I would like to write on my blog and suddenly this came to mind. English Language. I was thinking too hard without knowing that this topic would be really interesting to share. Something that is close to me. Something that I like and love--language.

I'm a pure Malay and of course my Malay Language is my mother tongue and I'm proud of it. But to be able to learn more than one language is such an opportunity for me. I always have this kind of respect to those who is bilingual and even more for the multilingual people. You people are smart you know! Learning the mother tongue is a hassle already but another language? Mannn! That's something!

So, how I first started to learn English? First it is a requirement at schools here in Malaysia to learn about English Language and it is in the syllabus, in exams and I can say most Malaysians speak English as the second language here. Anyhow, we are like "forced" to learn it at first but eventually it comes in handy though.

My father is the one who is responsible in opening the doors for me to English language. Why do I say so? Because he speaks English at home. I have always known that my father is a very good speaker, he attended school which use English as the main language back in the 70's. I have grown attached to seeing him speaks to his friends, enabling him to speak to strangers or anyone freely in English. You know? Like not for the sake of exams but to be able to speak the language because you CAN!.

From there, I always asked my parents to buy me English storybooks. I was introduced to Enid Blyton. I have more than 10 books of hers and I can say that they helped a lot in nurturing the love of English in me. Whenever I found new words, I searched for the meaning in the dictionary. Not to brag but I was the top 5 in my class in essay writing. 
Heh heh heh. *astaghfirullah, hands down and head down.

What books do I like to read? Well, everything. But not the serial killer thingy or so. I don't really like it. Here's why. I am such a sensitive and emotional person which easily get attached to something and it takes a while to thrust the emotion after I finished my reading.

To me, once I have finished reading a book, it'll take me weeks or a month to fully detached myself from the characters and story of a book that I just read. Susah kan? I know, but that's me.

How do I practice English?

1. Speak - By just reading and not speaking, you will not move forward in mastering the language. Language itself is a skill and by speaking, you are training yourself to implement everything that you learned. Speaking is important because this is where you identify your errors in speaking. I speak with my father sometimes. I speak with my friends at school but not to all. Like when I was in primary school, I had my eyes on this one group of Chinese and Indian students and I took the challenge to introduce myself to them and there I was, speaking English like nobody's business! Ahhh! What a memory. I believe by speaking, I was able to really use the language to its fullest.

2. Write and Read - I love books. I read tonnes of English books. I read from any kinds of genres. Right after, I write. My daily routine is, I have to discipline myself to write everyday even just a few lines. So that, I will have my writing skills polished and I'm able to use new vocabs that I found. If I don't write, I feel empty.

3. To Think, Write, and Talk in English - This will always be my favourite advice from my father. He reminded me this when I told him it's too hard to master the language. Now, I'm able to do so. Just switch the codes (of Malay and English) from time to time and you're good to go.

4. Write a review or monologue - This is what I do up until today. Serious talk. I write anything in my journal, basically about any books, articles, stories that I have read or watched. I monologue to myself of what do I feel at the moment or any random things. It's like I'm talking to a friend but I'm not but anyhow, I know Allah is listening and that's why I like it even more :)

5. Watch movies with/without the subtitles - I started with the English subtitle first, then I removed it and watch again many times till I can easily understand the words and even the jokes! That's the highest achievement for me! To understand jokes in another language! Hihihihi.

6. Study the language - This is basically what I do from time to time. I bought several grammar books and do the exercises from time to time. True enough, you'll learn more, make less errors and be even better in that language.

7. Listen to English songs - This is my favourite. It is also the major influence after my father. I learned English basically from English songs. Enables me to learn new vocabulary, to learn the sentence structures, understand the story-line of a song and to be able to connect myself to it.

I wanted to learn Arabic, Japanese, Mandarin, Korean and many more you know. Sighh.

I hope these tips will help you in nurturing any languages that you are learning at the moment.

Till then, I'll see you in my next post, inshaaAllah! Take care and I love you. You are the best!
Wednesday, January 31, 2018

EXPECTATON KILLS

Iبِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمٰنِ الرَّحِيْمِ
In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful

by AliahMazli
Because the dawn right before the sun rises is the darkest.
Even in the far future, never forget the you of right now.
Wherever you are right now, you're just taking a break.
Don't give up, you know.
(BTS - Tomorrow)

I always want things to go the way I wanted.
But it is hard to really get the result that I hoped for.
In the end, I'll be the one to face the heartbreaks and keep on hurting myself over and over again.

The thing is, expectation is not built in one night. Expectation happens when there were several events happened in your life that made you be that way of expecting lots of things from other people. 

And when it doesn't go the way you want it to be, you'll get hurt. The humorous part is, no matter how hard you try to lower down your expectation, it will always go to the starting point that you have in your in heart in wanting people to do something according to what you expect them to be.

Sounds confusing right?

The bottom line is, don't expect anything from the humans. Why? Because we will only get hurt and we will hurt the people around us.

I know this is hard to do and easy to say--put your hopes solely to Allah. By doing so, you will face less heartbreaks or maybe it will feel less hurt than before.

Expectation is tiring you know?
Because--
you will feel tired, you will cry more, you will blame yourself for everything, you will not feel enough, you will hurt people around you unintentionally (or maybe sometimes intended).

I know it is hard, but TRY.

Try your best and never expect things to be the way you want, instead, do things in favour of seeking Allah's pleasure even though you will feel so much pain in your heart.

Time will heal, HE will heal your heart.

I hope your days are filled with smiles, laughter, and happiness.

I am one day late from my promised Mondays update and I'm sorry for that. I was a bit occupied with myself.

InshaaAllah I'll catch you in my next post!
Saturday, January 27, 2018

AWAY FROM SOCIAL MEDIA - DOESN'T HURT RIGHT?

بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمٰنِ الرَّحِيْمِ
In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful

by AliahMazli
Being away for a while doesn't hurt right?

What do you usually do when you wake up early in the morning? Nothing? Tell me no lies darlings. Almost like a habit that you do when you wake up rather than going straight to the bathroom getting ready for Fajr prayer, there is something that automatically leads you to it.

Your cellphone. 

Checking messages, checking the social media updates, checking other things that somehow became a routine that is unbreakable. Why? Because we have set our mind to it. To do it and not to break it into a better habit. I have read about this somewhere that rather you unlock your cellphone early in the morning, go straight away to the bathroom and get ready for the Fajr prayer. 

Why? To meet our Creator. The One who created you and me. The One who plans your day, either it will be a good or bad ones (of course depending on your effort and prayers too in hoping to have a bad or good day). Doesn't it feel refreshed to meet Allah above all than checking a gadget which is totally created by humans which we know are full with flaws?

That really opened my eyes on how I lead my life. I have been depending on the cellphone because of social media things all my life just because I want to be the first to know about something without knowing that I have been putting Allah behind it all. What a shameless act I have done all this while.

Don't you feel shy to HIM? Now to think about it, I do feel shy. Like A LOT till I feel like wanting to hide myself somewhere just because I'm so shy towards Allah.

But did HE ruin your day just because we didn't make HIM our first priority? No. Instead, HIM being the Ar-Rahman (The Most Merciful), will love us even more and gives us so much rezq and good things. MashaaAllah. I am feeling shy with HIM even more while typing this.

How ignorant I am to HIM all this while.

Being away for a while from this social media definitely won't hurt which it may directly or indirectly affect our hearts' condition may it be for jealousy, greed, unhappy for others, wanting to look good only in the eyes of the human, showing everything that we have in the name of sharing doesn't make you a better person. All this will not be a problem if we have a proper intention on creating the social media platforms in the first place. On other meaning, to have us to purify our intention/niyyah every single day and in every single thing that we do.

Try and have your days off from the social media world and find the goodness in your everyday life. Get engaged with people in real life more rather than the online world where you can't even feel the warmth of the person.

Get yourself away from:
*negativity
*uncertainty (no-factual news, no proof-based stories)

In other words, silent is better. If you have no other good things to show or say, better to keep silence as it will lead to more negativity than positivity. 

There're several ayahs in the Quran in surah Al-Mu'minum (23:1, 23:2, 23:3) that say about turn away from ill speech:

English Translation:

The believers have indeed attained true success (1) Those who, in their Prayers, humble themselves (2) Who avoid whatever is vain and frivolous (3)

Malay Translation:

Sesungguhnya beruntunglah orang-orang yang beriman (1) (Iaitu) orang-orang yang khusyuk dalam solatnya (2) Dan orang-orang yang menjauhkan diri dari (perbuatan dan perkataan) yang tiada berguna (3)

I'm reminding myself first and foremost and please make duaa for me!

InshaaAllah I'll see you in my next post!