Self Update

Sunday, February 18, 2018
In The Name of Allah The Most Gracious Most Loving

I am sitting in front of my laptop wanting to update my blog. But MashaaAllah how blank I am at the moment. I am actually two days late from my Friday update which what I'm supposed to do. It is not easy to be istiqamah right? I do know my schedule but things got caught up along the way thus the delay of the updates especially on Fridays.

Make duaa for me to be much more discipline especially on my Fridays updates.

I'm on my way on preparing lists of topics that I would like to share. Basically more on knowledge sharing of what I've experienced maybe on marriage, on studying, on pregnancy, on parenting, or on general knowledge sharing of what happened in my everyday lives. InshaaAllah.

Can't really wait to write but Monday is just couple of hours away right? 
InshaaAllah, see you in my next post!

After 2 Weeks of Silence

Monday, February 12, 2018
In The Name of Allah Most Gracious The Most Loving

Allah is The Best Planner (8:30)
(Verse 30, Surah Al-Anfal)

I have been away for 2 weeks from my normal routine of updating this blog. I am having a transition process in my life which I surprised myself that it happened. I never thought it would be like this.

Hence, the delay of updating blog which sometimes I refuse to do just because things don't go the way I wanted it to be. However, I cannot back off. Because this is what I had promised myself to do in order to be much more closer to Allah.

Somehow I felt Allah is putting me in a situation where I'll be crying, lost, heartbroken, empty and so much more. I have come to a point in my life where I thought I'm doing something that "this is what I want to do and this is what Allah has permitted me to do". 

When I felt that "yes! this is it", little did I know that there will be more tests coming.

The thing is the situation of being tested itself is more tiring than I would have ever imagined.

I feel bad for myself for not being able to commit to my writing for 2 weeks. I gathered all my might to write and start again today. Tho I still feel at my lowest point, and sometimes I self-loathed myself.

Even so, to calm myself down is to always to go back to Our Lord, Our Creator. To pray and to cry out loud only to HIM. Seriously I was sobbing hard and I thought that my life is ending but I hold on to one thing, faith.

Faith is what keep me going where I believe this is what it means by wanting to get closer to Allah. To be put in tests, to cry, to seek help, to pray even harder to HIM and at the end of the day, Allah will let us see the reasons behind all tests, Allah will put back the smile on our faces knowing that we are strong enough to get over the tests with HIS guidance.

Please make duaa for me and may we have the courage, the patience and the strong willpower to strive through all this, inshaaAllah.
Self Reminder

Expectation Kills

Wednesday, January 31, 2018
In The Name of Allah The Most Gracious, The Most Loving

Because the dawn right before the sun rises is the darkest.
Even in the far future, never forget the you of right now.
Wherever you are right now, you're just taking a break.
Don't give up, you know.
(BTS - Tomorrow)

I always want things to go the way I wanted.
But it is hard to really get the result that I hoped for.
In the end, I'll be the one to face the heartbreaks and keep on hurting myself over and over again.

The thing is, expectation is not built in one night. Expectation happens when there were several events happened in your life that made you be that way of expecting lots of things from other people. 

And when it doesn't go the way you want it to be, you'll get hurt. The humorous part is, no matter how hard you try to lower down your expectation, it will always go to the starting point that you have in your in heart in wanting people to do something according to what you expect them to be.

Sounds confusing right?

The bottom line is, don't expect anything from the humans. Why? Because we will only get hurt and we will hurt the people around us.

I know this is hard to do and easy to say--put your hopes solely to Allah. By doing so, you will face less heartbreaks or maybe it will feel less hurt than before.

Expectation is tiring you know?
you will feel tired, you will cry more, you will blame yourself for everything, you will not feel enough, you will hurt people around you unintentionally (or maybe sometimes intended).

I know it is hard, but TRY.

Try your best and never expect things to be the way you want, instead, do things in favour of seeking Allah's pleasure even though you will feel so much pain in your heart.

Time will heal, HE will heal your heart.

I hope your days are filled with smiles, laughter, and happiness.

I am one day late from my promised Mondays update and I'm sorry for that. I was a bit occupied with myself.

InshaaAllah I'll catch you in my next post!